“The Devil is running Scioto County.” Governor John Kasich
The devil’s not in hell,
He’s alive and well
And has been for quite a spell
In our drug-ridden county.
Right now we’re dreading
The devil’s been shredding
Not socks, smocks, and bedding
But documents evidentiary.
Free of all impediments,
The devil’s shredding documents
In all the various departments
Of Marting’s, a virtual mortuary.
“Sensitive documents” galore,
They’re stored on every floor
Of the former department store
That stands now in infamy.
Finally they found a use
For that poor architectural excuse,
For that useless, decrepit moose
That crooks foisted off on the city.
That’s were they hid the evidence
That belies their claims of innocence
The notorious ladies and gents
Whose only language is perjury:
Bauer, Baughman, Kalb, Malone—
Clay, Neal, Julia, Carol—the sly flyblown
Souls, the devil’s very own—
Birds of a feather in hell’s aviary.
Beneath the leaking Marting roof,
The devil’s shredding the proof—
The crooked Foundation head, aloof,
The clerk who goofs off at the grocery,
The shyster-meister of petty crime,
All slithering in political slime
All groveling in the dregs of time,
The devil shredders of immorality.